With the current media hysteria about a fertility crisis, you've managed to name what's been bugging me. In all the articles they give reasons of climate change, financial and housing instability as factors in "women" (it's always her fault) not wanting kids, but they never name the elephant in the room. Ask any woman who wants a child and hasn't had one yet and she'll tell you that not being able to find a decent partner is the main factor. All the other reasons are secondary. You've nailed it, the falling birth rate is a direct consequence of male underdevelopment. Brilliant.
It took me 21 years of marriage to know I was exhausted, unappreciated, way under sexed and very much taken advantage of by an emotionally undeveloped husband. And it has always been my fault. I think I've been divorced more years than I was married and the older I get the less attractive I've become and not having the "cute factor" is - oh well - to hell with 'em. I've chosen to be single rather than settling.
I LOVE your article. Thank you for defining my world.
I spent 26 years, managing the emotions and existence of a similarly underdeveloped man, that under threat of death couldn’t tell you how I took my coffee. After my youngest moved out, and I was still managing him, I was done. This essay was informed by so much of that experience, as well as the experience of finding an absolutely fascinating man at 52… a fully formed, emotionally mature man who says “delighting you brings me joy.” and we all deserve that at a minimum.
With the current media hysteria about a fertility crisis, you've managed to name what's been bugging me. In all the articles they give reasons of climate change, financial and housing instability as factors in "women" (it's always her fault) not wanting kids, but they never name the elephant in the room. Ask any woman who wants a child and hasn't had one yet and she'll tell you that not being able to find a decent partner is the main factor. All the other reasons are secondary. You've nailed it, the falling birth rate is a direct consequence of male underdevelopment. Brilliant.
It took me 21 years of marriage to know I was exhausted, unappreciated, way under sexed and very much taken advantage of by an emotionally undeveloped husband. And it has always been my fault. I think I've been divorced more years than I was married and the older I get the less attractive I've become and not having the "cute factor" is - oh well - to hell with 'em. I've chosen to be single rather than settling.
I LOVE your article. Thank you for defining my world.
Really nice work!
I spent 26 years, managing the emotions and existence of a similarly underdeveloped man, that under threat of death couldn’t tell you how I took my coffee. After my youngest moved out, and I was still managing him, I was done. This essay was informed by so much of that experience, as well as the experience of finding an absolutely fascinating man at 52… a fully formed, emotionally mature man who says “delighting you brings me joy.” and we all deserve that at a minimum.
Loved this. Well done, Rachel!
“Underdeveloped male” has now entered my lexicon.